When the child is still at the age is all about me, me, me, how to teach the child to be considerate? How to teach the child to care someone else's feelings (besides the parents)? When I tell Natalie that I am not happy, she cares about it and she would do something about it. But when it's someone else (even Dad), she doesn't seem to care much. When she has done something that someone might dislike, or when she has said something, I can tell her not to, and tell her that someone would not be happy about it. But I don't tell her the consequence could be, the other person would not like her from then on (Is this too complicated for her to understand? Even if she does, can she take this fact at her age?). 看見自己的孩子被討厭﹐真的會很心疼。
當然﹐孩子可以做一個自以為有性格的人。但當他未夠成熟去做這個決定時﹐what can the parents do? How can the parents to make the child understand?
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4 comments:
What a complicated topic...
It is her normal stage to be very self-centered , I think.
I think repetitions of explanations of other's feelings and consequences to each situation every time may help; I would not worry about her not understanding. Kids are a lot smarter than we think. If you want them to act mature and responsible, you need to treat them as if they are already that way; you know what I mean.
I also think that kids' personality slowly comes out around this time; one of my patients who had 6 kids told me that kids do not naturally know how to be empathetic, they learn from others how to.
I think kids also learn so much from us parents, they imitate our act and echoes our emotions. May be exaggerates a little bit when you ever come across a situation; when she observes and feel what you do, she may learn...
BUT, OK...after all, I can only talk, right? ：P SORRY for Ian's attitude the other day. He lately has issues with opposite sex (since they are so separated in school between boys and girls) and he seems to have space issues, like his dad; can't get "too closed" to him before he is ready! We had a long talk after... and he said he rather have Natalie come over more often and regularly, I guess he is not use to not seeing her for so long and all of a sudden she is all over him!!! Hahaha... I am sure I will regret I had this talk with him once he turns into a teenager, I would rather he stays this way until he is 20! HAHAHAHA!!! : D
@weezie: Thanks for your advice. And don't worry about the other day. I totally understand where Ian came from. The incident only triggered my thought. Natalie is too stubborn and she always wants "her way". This could be her personality, or it could be part of her terrible 2 stage. But she got to learn that not everything can be in her way. And she got to learn that when she's all over someone, the other person may not have positive response. Anyways, thanks for letting us know that we can come over more regularly and more often. I will keep calling you about it, haha :)
Yea, Kaitlyn is very stubborn, too. So, especially when Bill is not around, when the situation comes,I would say "no" to her strongly after I have explained to her the reasons multiple times and not giving in easily. She is very very good of testing the limits; and like most woman, ha ha, she is very good on keep pushing it and exaggerates her emotions to try to get her way. What I do beside explanations, distractions,repetitions etc, Sometimes I just said it the last time and would just ignore her and walk away. If she further throw into a tantrum, I would definitely walk away. If she does anything like hitting, throwing items, she gets a timeout. And funny enough,a lot of times she would just give up and move on; especially when daddy is not around.
SO, You can do it. It's better Natalie learn to accept a refusal from you than from anyone in the future and be in shock had a hard time emotionally dealing with it then.
Man... there is a reason it's called: terrible twos!
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